Things, stuff, and other items of interest

December 12, 2009

Notes to my Nephew #001

Dear future Jack:

Hey there pal. I hope you don't mind me blatantly exploiting you to come up with some content for my site, but it was an idea that I played around with for a while, and thought you might get a kick out of it when you were older. Or maybe you'll hate it, and think your uncle is a complete tool. It's kind of 50:50 either way. Okay, maybe it's closer to 40:60, but I'm willing to risk it.

Where to begin? I'm going to assume by the time you stumble across this, you're going to be old enough to read by yourself, and have some idea of what's going on in the larger world around you. Currently, you're still what is technically referred to by pediatric medical practitioners as a "rug rat". I wanted to give you an idea of what was going on in the world while you were still old enough to bake a loaf in your shorts and burn out your parent's olfactory senses.

Before I go any further I want to make it crystal clear that you are one lucky little bugger. There's an old saying that goes something along the lines of: "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family." Well, that's true. However, in your case, you got the parental equivalent of the golden ticket from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. You may not agree with this next statement 100% of the time, but take my word for it, on the whole, your parents are freaking awesome. I'm not going to get side tracked into a bunch of sappy sentimental nonsense, suffice it to say, out of all the people on earth you won world-wide parental lottery my friend.

Now, with that said, I will come clean with you. I have an agenda that I seek to accomplish by writing you this letter and what I expect will be more in the days to come. Trust your parents. They love you. They are wise, and they have you're best interests at heart, sort of. Well, your Mom does for sure, all of the time. Your Dad also does,... most of the time. I'm not telling you not to listen to your Pop little buddy, far from it. It's just that your old man is a talented dude, primarily in the art of "bullshit". He is a veritable "Bullshit Master". No really, he is. Seriously. He is gifted with a silver tongue, and to be historically accurate... has not always used that gift with the gold-standard of applied ethics. No doubt, he would take umbrage with this statement, despite it being completely true, and so I fear that you may not receive a totally unbiased accounting of our family history. My goal is to offer you another perspective for your consideration, nothing more. For starters:
  • If your Dad asks you to help him test the security system, DON'T!
  • If your Dad buys you a BB gun, and then wants to play with it himself, DON'T LET HIM!
  • DO NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES expect your father to play fairly when it comes to:
  1. Darts
  2. Mario Kart
  3. Risk / Axis vs. Allies / Settlers of Catan
  4. Ping Pong (Probably best to wear a cup while playing)
While we're at it, I may toss in the occasional comment on world events and what not, some observations on the flotsam & jetsam of what passes for our news media.  We are in the final days of the first decade of the twenty first century, and you're about to turn two years old very soon. The current political climate is somewhat depressing to be honest. In the news this week:

The current war-related scandal has to do with how much our current Minister of Defense knew about just what was going on with the treatment of some of the prisoners after they had been transferred to Afghan authorities. Canada currently has approximately 2830 military troops deployed in Afghanistan as part of a NATO lead joint task force. All of that basically boils down to Canada is currently at war with a bunch of guys in Afghanistan that have some funny ideas about how they can treat their neighbours. We've been there since 2002 (I think) and during that time, 133 (so far) brave Canadian men and women have lost their lives trying improve the situation over there.

Another item that will have some impact on your world is a two week conference called: "COP15" that's taking place in Copenhagen, Denmark currently. It would seem that the news concerning Canada's participation isn't very encouraging, and frankly, seems out of character for our nation, if not perhaps our current government.

There were some other items in the news this week as well, some of it quite interesting, some of it not, and some of it just down right embarassing. Obviously there was a lot more news stories than I can go into here, and I suspect there were plenty of stories that should have received better coverage but didn't for various reasons.

I think that's probably enough of the news for now, lest we become overwhelmed by the never ending march of current affairs. Christmas is just around the corner for us, and I'll be seeing you in a few weeks. I have yet to start my shopping, and I have no clue what to get you. Something loud I'm thinking. Battery powered, buttons and sirens need to be involved. That or a drum kit possibly. Maybe some sort of trumpet or penny whistle perhaps. I know I've got a kazoo around here somewhere.

I hope all is well with you little buddy, eat your veggies (except the brussel sprouts), listen to your folks, be good. I'll see you soon.

Uncle Onion

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